/s4s/ - anime pillow fight

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good times.

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erm...
cumin garlic bread—that is all chat

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hold me
i'm slipping from reality
cause the pain is too intense
so please don't let go

>>54468
wtf r u on

>>54469
nothing...

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>>54471
nothing...?

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>>54473
nope... just in pain. deep, deep pain...

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>>54474
Why so?

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>>54475
my bf of four years abruptly left me for his ex. this is a month after meeting him irl with plans to come back. it's been two weeks since he left me, and i've been in deep pain since. it physically hurts, not in a figurative way.

>>54477
irl rejected if real

>>54477
people are douches

>>54479
see, it's weird because last year, we spent time together irl too. i don't even understand why he'd wanna go back to his ex, especially after every nasty thing he's told me. maybe it's better than dealing with me anymore. his ex, whenever he talks about him either, he only ever has bitter and nasty things to say about him. none of it really makes any sense, and i know what they have won't last because his ex is just too particular of a person and their relationship has too much history, so why would he make that effort, especially when i'm already here...

but yeah, like 4 years. all the energy and time invested. i still even have car parts on the way in the post to fix my beater because that's how i go and see him, by car. rug pulled just like that...

>>54479
honestly, i know he has a chronic inflammatory disease which is supposed to reach the brain in it's late stages, so i almost wonder how much of that is affecting his behaviour now. he has a precise memory, but lately, i've found him forgetting more and more, to the point that i don't know which special memories we shared together than we can still connect on anymore. i wonder...

>>54485
mayb theyre just crazy

>>54487
idk... i hope not because i'm still infatuated with him... idk

>>54488
rip

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>he stopped putting up with my bullshit
>must be neurosyphallis
lole

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>>54501
idk man. i just hope he doesn't think i don't still love him for doing what he's doing because i don't want his ex to fill him with regret and then he thinks i'd have forsaken him and later an heros or something. yeah, i maybe pathetic, but i'm always going to be here for him. we've been together for too long.

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>still wearing his shirt
made me cry when putting it on...
he still has mine too... i hope he keeps it now...

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>"maybe we should just be in an open relationship"
oh god, i just want to be comforted

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>all of the injokes that became a part of our daily lexicon
>all of the virtual worlds we made together
>all of the late nights we spent together
>those precious photos of us being together
i just can't understand

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>the last kiss i ever got before he sent me back home...
fccking why

i don't want to be lonely.

please don't go

i am scared

>>54511
don’t be

>>54512
why not

>>54513
it’ll be okay

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>>54514
i don't know squiuish
i haven't eaten all day, not hungry either. just gonna uhhhh... ldar yeahhh

>>54514
nothing is okay

>>54512
>>54514
nonsensical schizoid babble

ok good night i guess... ah- yeah.... i guess.

>>54522
Whats the good night for?

>>54522
You guess what monster?

>>54522
who is this?

>>54530
force of habit ;-;

>>54531
that he's not coming back...

>>54532
a pathetic loser whose bf ghosted and left him for his ex, aka me.

>>54536
just find another

>>54541
just? i still don't even think we've split apart, i am that much in denial right now. doesn't help that he won't talk to me at all...

>>54543
Yes humans are dicks like that, unless you really try to talk to him again he wont.

>>54545
was just uhhh... trying to look for exploits to see his steam profile so i could add his ex and talk to him instead just to figure out why. i already did the same on twitter. i just don't understand. i want to starve to death. i ate nothing yesterday. i'll eat nothing today. fuck this life

>>54546
Yes and they will hate that and accuse you of being mentally ill because of it

>>54552
oh... 
none of this makes any sense at all
life has been feeling more and more like a nightmare i can't wake up from lately

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This website is amazing because you can be as outlandishly harsh and unreasonable towards someone as you can imagine and every horrible prejudice you imagine will turn out to be true

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>>54555
no bf to defend me from you anymore

>>54554
thats the least optimistic scenario though

>>54564
i forgot there was anything left to hope for but dead dying death.

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how do we cheer up squishy?

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>>54569
midnight and the stars at midnight and the stars at midnight and the stars at

sorry, i'll stop

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i felt something like this once and could barely eat and live normally for a few days. just remember to find ways to treat yourself even if it doesnt really make you feel any better

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maybe play the silly horse racing game?

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>>54572
how did you recover... what even happened to you that had you feel like that to begin with? if it's too personal to share, i understand.

>>54573
last time i did was with him... it's okie though. i'll be okie. where everythink is okie

>>54574
okie?

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>>54574
there is something oddly comforting about the passage of time. life felt more vivid somehow. from the moment i would wake up, i would think about what had happened. honestly i mostly felt shock. i think doing things to "distract" myself helped, but really no matter what i was doing i was thinking about them. with each passing day things began to feel a little more normal. eventually it became the sort of thing i could think about without feeling beat up about it. 

but really im not sure how i recovered and so it makes me worry for you. i hope you find your own way to feel normal again.

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>>54589
ah, reading your posts feels refreshing, like a mint after dinner. don't worry about me, i've always found my way... and these wound are still fresh, so there's still time to heal... but you should consider writing more, it's good.

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>>54591
aww thanks! i only somewhat recently discovered how nice it is to post on image boards. i guess in some ways posting is sort of a creative exercise? i spend maybe a little bit too much time thinking about how words and sentences flow together.

its kinda interesting behind each post is a bunch of scrapped sentences and small structural changes that no one will ever see!

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>>54595
>i spend maybe a little bit too much time thinking about how words and sentences flow together.
i think refinement lends itself towards excellence, so don't be ashamed of your creative process. this poem is one of my favourites, posted by Anonymous, hope you enjoy...

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>>54596
such a nice post! it has lots of good qualities that kinda appeal to me. maybe in someways its similar to how i tend to write things too.

this must have meant a lot to you though! recalling something like this almost 4 years later? i wonder if they remember writing this?

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>>54597
hehe, i guess i'm getting old. feels like no time has passed, but maybe i spent too much time in the doldrums just floating listlessly... it's oddly comforting recognizing those posters who have been here for a while, still just doing the same things they've always been doing, despite all the chaos lately. it reminds me of a small hometown or something.

>>54597
they said they were anonymous

anyone getting vibes that the board as slowed down immensely with the discord link posted?

>>54632
could it be that it's accelerating namefig mental health decline?
like, ikaposter went from posting everyday to getting institutionalized in the span of a week after the discord link dropped

>>54647
na man they just post in that place over here

>>54598
hello

>>54591
you havent found shit